NO CHICKEN SALAD

This is one of the most delicious things I’ve made in weeks! Just writing about it makes me so hungry, I seriously just wanna make this salad again tomorrow!

But first let’s talk about the name. When the conversation comes to fake meats there is often someone who can’t keep it to themselves and cries out, “Why do these damn vegans always copy meat dishes, they should be making their own dishes. This is fucking disgusting and they shouldn’t be allowed to do this!” My opinion is, these people need to shut up and chill the fuck out! Seriously, who cares?! If there is NO MEAT in it, you can make it taste like whatever you fucking want. Also, what they might not (want to) consider is, that there are certain foods you might have enjoyed in your former meat and dairy eating past and even if not, who cares if it tastes good?!

And then there is this other group of specialists! When they hear something about a “vegan chicken salad”, they are like “Yeah, I had chicken too today and it was vegan. Like, you know, it was on a vegan diet. HA HA HA..” Seriously… I try not to even start commenting on.. that…

Well anyways, I call this a “No Chicken Salad” coz it’s easier to understand what taste we’re going for. So people can easily recognize it. In reality it’s an asparagus, mushroom, soy meat salad. Which is quite a moutful. Literally!

So tasty!

But anyways here goes the recipe,

4 cups soy meat
1 cup canned asparagus (or if in season use fresh)
2 cups fresh champignons
8 tbsp of margarine
1 onion
1 cup vegan Mayonnaise
1 clove of garlic
1 can of mandarines
1 tbsp paprika
vegetable oil
tamari-sauce
salt pepper

put the soy meat with some salt in a bowl cover with boiling water, leave for at least 15min

peel fresh asparagus and chop up into 1/2″ pieces, cook in some salt water til soft

canned asparagus can be chopped up straight away

dice champignons, not too small and fry in some oil, put salt and pepper in to taste and half of the onion, finely chopped, turn down temperature and let simmer

drain soy meat well, and if bigger pieces, cut them up fairly small

fry up soy meat in margarine, season with tamari sauce, put rest of the finely chopped onion in, leave until meat slightly crunchy, add crushed garlic and season to taste with salt, pepper and paprika

mix all ingredients, let cool down, chill in fridge and add vegan mayonnaise.

season again to taste

Of curz this is another recipe, slightly altered, which I’ve got from Björn Moschinski. Who is really making some great stuff and is also easy to watch in those instruction videos(not so easy if you don’t speak German, but I’ll post the video here anyways).

This is so delicious, you need to try it! Maybe it’s just one of these things Germans are used to, mayonnaise based, protein rich salads, but I think most people should like this.

Try it out and let me know what you think!

MAYO WARS

Yesterday I’ve made another attempt to make the best vegan mayo ever. Or just an edible version would have done.

Last time I’ve made it it tasted kind of .. questionable. I think that was due to making it partially with olive oil(coz I’ve ran out of sunflower oil in the middle of production) and to the fact that I was so stunned by getting it to a perfect consistency that I didn’t dare seasoning it.

So, the taste was quite overwhelming and strong. Not so great.

Yesterday, I wanted to make a “vegan chicken salad”, so I needed some more mayonaise. And why buy it?! Vegan mayo is fucking expensive and I also like learning how to make things from scratch. Sometimes..
Not so much the first two trials.

I’ve only put soy milk in it and vegetable oil and both times, it turned into a gluggy mass. Like a big jug of really oily milk. Yuck!!
It was gross. And what a waste!! But what are you supposed to make with that?! Down the drain I’d say!

The first time I used soy milk from a regular supermarket. It had some additives in it, sugar, stabilizers, crap like that. I’ve added a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar to the milk before the oil, as it was suggested in the german video below. And regular sunflower oil.

An instruction video for our German friends – Ein how-to video für unsere deutschen FreundInnen

The second time(in between I had to go to the supermarket to get some more oil) I’ve used organic soy milk, made only from water and soy beans and canola oil.

By that time I was really sick of reading any more recipes. But I saw a great hint in one of the recipes which was, to put the oil in really slowly, because otherwise it’s too heavy and just goes straight to the bottom of the blender. That helped.

So here are my best tips for making the perfect vegan mayonnaise

•Use a small amount of soy milk(half a cup) for a trial, so you don’t waste so much of the ingredients if it doesn’t work out

•Pour the oil into the blender, which has to be at highest speed, VERY SLOWLY!! A very thin stream while still pouring it in steadily

•Apparently both, soy milk and oil should have room temperature(same temperature) or it won’t work

•If the oil is still a bit separate in the end, just put the mayo into a bowl and stir it while also stirring in the seasoning and the oil will blend with the rest

•Put the seasoning in after you’re happy with the consistency, some people put them in in the beginning, you might wanna do that once you’ve perfected your technique, otherwise, see above, regarding waste. You don’t wanna throw all this stuff in and then having to pour it down the drain

Perfect vegan mayo

And here is the recipe

1/2 cup soy milk
1 1/2 cups oil(flavour neutral oil, like sunflower or canola, or experiment with olive oil)

And then season to your liking. This is what I’ve put in.

1/2 tsp mustard
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar(or any other vinegar or lemon)
1 tsp paprika
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
1/4 tsp pepper
1 tsp salt

I’m very picky with my mayo, I hated Australian mayonnaise, I refused to eat it and would only eat a certain Swiss brand. It’s gross, too sour and sweet and, brrr, just slimy.
But I’m really happy with how this recipe turned out. It tastes like The Real Deal. And you can season it up how you want it, which makes it taste even better.

Making the perfect mayonaise is like an art form!

Lunch

I would also recommend this recipe to meat eaters or vegetarians. I mean, why eat mayo with raw eggs if you don’t have to. Why take the risk of salmonella, that shit is dangerous. And raw eggs?! Gross!
And why eat animal products where it’s really not necessary?!

Just to make sure the recipe really works, I’ve tried it again today. Well, the first time it went shit again. What I’ve noticed already yesterday with one batch is, that it first solidifies and then all of a sudden goes liquid again. Which is so frustrating! Not sure if I’ve put too much oil in or put it in too fast, but I really tried to put it in as slow as possible. Maybe too much then?!
So, I don’t really wanna call myself a vegan mayo expert now. But I am! It doesn’t always turn out, but when it works, ‘Wow!’ lol

And if you think, “This shit is gross, coz too oily!” or if you can’t get it to work or wanna try something different, here are 2 more recipes, one is a raw almond mayonnaise and the other one a tofu mayonnaise. Have fun experimenting and tell me how it went!